“Even if it’s not your first time,
let the man think it is.”

“Lorraine, whattiya telling the poor girl!”

“Nuttin’ you didn’t tell me before my
bridal shower!”

“Okay, girls, let Lisa open her presents,”
a wise old aunt announces.

Oohing and ahhing
as a young bride-to-be
holds up a glass mason jar
sprouting artificial sunflowers.

“They’re supposed to be dandy-
lions,” explains a Lucia or Maria.

Ooh ooh ooh
as the soon-to-be wedded
holds up a large fork and spoon
that are wooden.

“Good for cookin’ and also
disciplinin’ the kids once
they start walking.”

“Aww, don’t spoil her fun!”
warns a wise new mother who
then advises:

“And have it as long as you
can before you have kids.”

Mm-hmm mm-hmm

nods a roomful of wise
married women.